he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
