do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize