STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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