Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
