Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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