I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
