Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Found your dick twin last night
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
It's rum buckets o'clock
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
