So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize