he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
