I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Randomize
