yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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