I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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