Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize