I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
