Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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