508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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