I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
