So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
