Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
