member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
