At least make sure they are 18
Why
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
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