Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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