she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
