There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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