she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
