Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
