I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
