its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
