Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
This is the high leading the old right now
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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