I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
