it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
