just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize