god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
