walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Randomize
