If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
he was CRYING into my vagina
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
