totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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