I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
