U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
