atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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