I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
This is my gift to your gina
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Randomize
