drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Randomize
