so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
