my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
