It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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