Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
