its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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