whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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