We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
