Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Randomize
