apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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