it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
