Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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