Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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