I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
