I hope mine doesn't look like that
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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