question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
