I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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