This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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